Bang for the Buck: Which teams got the best value in 2012-13?

NHL teams’ payrolls have been capped for nearly a decade now, limiting the disparity between the big-market giants and their small-market counterparts. Still, the Philadelphia Flyers, who had the highest payroll in the league last season, spent over $23 million more than the NHL-owned Phoenix Coyotes. But the money didn’t matter: neither made the playoffs, and Phoenix actually finished two points ahead of Philly in the final standings. Did the teams that made it rain in 2013 get any bang for their buck? Let’s find out.

Here, courtesy of CapGeek, are the payrolls for every NHL team this past season:

	Team	Spending (USD)
1.	Philadelphia Flyers »	$72,549,431
2.	Vancouver Canucks »	$70,456,167
3.	Minnesota Wild »	$70,120,744
4.	New York Rangers »	$68,711,221
5.	Chicago Blackhawks »	$67,343,544
6.	Montreal Canadiens »	$66,857,720
7.	Pittsburgh Penguins »	$66,739,133
8.	San Jose Sharks »	$66,370,996
9.	Boston Bruins »	$64,486,562
10.	Tampa Bay Lightning »	$64,082,929
11.	Washington Capitals »	$64,053,698
12.	Toronto Maple Leafs »	$63,249,222
13.	Detroit Red Wings »	$62,823,032
14.	Los Angeles Kings »	$62,025,799
15.	Buffalo Sabres »	$61,437,023
16.	Calgary Flames »	$61,027,990
17.	New Jersey Devils »	$59,269,410
18.	Winnipeg Jets »	$58,447,941
19.	Florida Panthers »	$57,463,086
20.	Carolina Hurricanes »	$57,237,054
21.	Anaheim Ducks »	$56,931,061
22.	Colorado Avalanche »	$55,641,465
23.	Dallas Stars »	$53,967,129
24.	Columbus Blue Jackets »	$53,893,247
25.	Ottawa Senators »	$53,806,372
26.	Nashville Predators »	$53,723,203
27.	Edmonton Oilers »	$53,648,971
28.	New York Islanders »	$53,004,108
29.	St. Louis Blues »	$52,185,361
30.	Phoenix Coyotes »	$49,438,632

And here, courtesy of NHL.com, are the final standings for the 2013 season. Note that despite conference affiliations, the top 16 teams in the league turned out to be the 16 that made the playoffs.

Rank		DIV	GP	W	L	OT	P
1	p – Chicago	CEN	48	36	7	5	77
2	z – Pittsburgh	ATL	48	36	12	0	72
3	y – Anaheim	PAC	48	30	12	6	66
4	y – Montréal	NE	48	29	14	5	63
5	x – Boston	NE	48	28	14	6	62
6	x – St. Louis	CEN	48	29	17	2	60
7	x – Los Angeles	PAC	48	27	16	5	59
8	y – Vancouver	NW	48	26	15	7	59
9	x – Toronto	NE	48	26	17	5	57
10	y – Washington	SE	48	27	18	3	57
11	x – San Jose	PAC	48	25	16	7	57
12	x – NY Rangers	ATL	48	26	18	4	56
13	x – Detroit	CEN	48	24	16	8	56
14	x – Ottawa	NE	48	25	17	6	56
15	x – Minnesota	NW	48	26	19	3	55
16	x – NY Islanders	ATL	48	24	17	7	55
17	Columbus	CEN	48	24	17	7	55
18	Winnipeg	SE	48	24	21	3	51
19	Phoenix	PAC	48	21	18	9	51
20	Philadelphia	ATL	48	23	22	3	49
21	Dallas	PAC	48	22	22	4	48
22	New Jersey	ATL	48	19	19	10	48
23	Buffalo	NE	48	21	21	6	48
24	Edmonton	NW	48	19	22	7	45
25	Calgary	NW	48	19	25	4	42
26	Carolina	SE	48	19	25	4	42
27	Nashville	CEN	48	16	23	9	41
28	Tampa Bay	SE	48	18	26	4	40
29	Colorado	NW	48	16	25	7	39
30	Florida	SE	48	15	27	6	36

Now, let’s see which teams got the  best value. Playoff teams are in bold.

	Team	Spending (USD)	Points	USD Spent/Point
1	Anaheim Ducks	$56,931,061	66	$862,591.83
2	St. Louis Blues	$52,185,361	60	$869,756.02
3	Chicago Blackhawks	$67,343,544	77	$874,591.48
4	Pittsburgh Penguins	$66,739,133	72	$926,932.40
5	Ottawa Senators	$53,806,372	56	$960,828.07
6	New York Islanders	$53,004,108	55	$963,711.05
7	Phoenix Coyotes	$49,438,632	51	$969,384.94
8	Columbus Blue Jackets	$53,893,247	55	$979,877.22
9	Boston Bruins	$64,486,562	62	$1,040,105.84
10	Los Angeles Kings	$62,025,799	59	$1,051,284.73
11	Montreal Canadiens	$66,857,720	63	$1,061,233.65
12	Toronto Maple Leafs	$63,249,222	57	$1,109,635.47
13	Detroit Red Wings	$62,823,032	56	$1,121,839.86
14	Washington Capitals	$64,053,698	57	$1,123,749.09
15	Dallas Stars	$53,967,129	48	$1,124,315.19
16	Winnipeg Jets	$58,447,941	51	$1,146,038.06
17	San Jose Sharks	$66,370,996	57	$1,164,403.44
18	Edmonton Oilers	$53,648,971	45	$1,192,199.36
19	Vancouver Canucks	$70,456,167	59	$1,194,172.32
20	New York Rangers	$68,711,221	56	$1,226,986.09
21	New Jersey Devils	$59,269,410	48	$1,234,779.38
22	Minnesota Wild	$70,120,744	55	$1,274,922.62
23	Buffalo Sabres	$61,437,023	48	$1,279,937.98
24	Nashville Predators	$53,723,203	41	$1,310,322.02
25	Carolina Hurricanes	$57,237,054	42	$1,362,787.00
26	Colorado Avalanche	$55,641,465	39	$1,426,704.23
27	Calgary Flames	$61,027,990	42	$1,453,047.38
28	Philadelphia Flyers	$72,549,431	49	$1,480,600.63
29	Florida Panthers	$57,463,086	36	$1,596,196.83
30	Tampa Bay Lightning	$64,082,929	40	$1,602,073.23

Finally, let’s take a look at the differential between teams’ spending positions and their standings positions:

Position Differential Rank	Team	Spending Position	Standings Position	Position Differential
1	St. Louis Blues	29	6	+23
2	Anaheim Ducks	21	3	+18
3	New York Islanders	28	16	+12
t4	Ottawa Senators	25	14	+11
t4	Phoenix Coyotes	30	19	+11
t6	Columbus Blue Jackets	24	17	+7
t6	Los Angeles Kings	14	7	+7
8	Pittsburgh Penguins	7	2	+5
t9	Chicago Blackhawks	5	1	+4
t9	Boston Bruins	9	5	+4
t11	Toronto Maple Leafs	12	9	+3
t11	Edmonton Oilers	27	24	+3
t13	Montreal Canadiens	6	4	+2
t13	Dallas Stars	23	21	+2
15	Washington Capitals	11	10	+1
t16	Detroit Red Wings	13	13	0
t16	Winnipeg Jets	18	18	0
18	Nashville Predators	26	27	-1
19	San Jose Sharks	8	11	-3
20	New Jersey Devils	17	22	-5
t21	Vancouver Canucks	2	8	-6
t21	Carolina Hurricanes	20	26	-6
23	Colorado Avalanche	22	29	-7
t24	New York Rangers	4	12	-8
t24	Buffalo Sabres	15	23	-8
26	Calgary Flames	16	25	-9
27	Florida Panthers	19	30	-11
28	Minnesota Wild	3	15	-12
29	Tampa Bay Lightning	10	28	-18
30	Philadelphia Flyers	1	20	-19

So what can we take away from all these numbers and charts?

• Despite making the playoffs, one might have expected the Sharks, Canucks, Rangers and Wild to accrue more points and make deeper runs.
• Payroll-wise, the Coyotes and Blue Jackets overachieved big-time despite missing the playoffs.
• Only two of the ten highest-spending teams — the Flyers and Lightning — missed the playoffs.
• Three of the ten lowest-spending teams — the Ducks, Islanders and Blues — made the playoffs.
  • None of the three made it past the first round.

    EDIT: Reader Matt spots an error in our analysis:

  “4 of the bottom 10 spending teams made the playoffs…. And the one you missed also made it to the second round… the Ottawa Senators.”

Let’s check out, as of today, how much each NHL team will be spending in 2013-14, again courtesy of CapGeek:

	Team		Salary Payroll	Cap Payroll
1.	Philadelphia Flyers »		$76,194,117	$69,153,522
2.	Boston Bruins »		$65,440,000	$70,223,810
3.	Pittsburgh Penguins »		$70,810,000	$65,398,333
4.	Detroit Red Wings »		$68,200,000	$67,947,879
5.	San Jose Sharks »		$63,756,666	$65,131,667
6.	Los Angeles Kings »		$68,810,000	$64,386,894
7.	Edmonton Oilers »		$58,841,666	$67,774,167
8.	Chicago Blackhawks »		$67,760,000	$62,946,795
9.	Columbus Blue Jackets »		$60,976,667	$66,808,809
10.	New York Rangers »		$65,226,666	$62,881,667
11.	Winnipeg Jets »		$57,701,000	$63,201,357
12.	Dallas Stars »		$58,368,334	$62,993,611
13.	Tampa Bay Lightning »		$64,953,572	$63,990,477
14.	Minnesota Wild »		$67,152,778	$65,265,534
15.	Montreal Canadiens »		$64,465,000	$63,610,833
16.	Anaheim Ducks »		$57,145,000	$62,795,833
17.	Vancouver Canucks »		$64,489,000	$59,952,778
18.	Nashville Predators »		$62,326,666	$62,862,976
19.	Carolina Hurricanes »		$59,365,000	$59,425,000
20.	Toronto Maple Leafs »		$58,996,434	$59,704,167
21.	Washington Capitals »		$56,725,000	$58,634,295
22.	Phoenix Coyotes »		$52,300,000	$58,176,667
23.	St. Louis Blues »		$56,991,667	$57,925,833
24.	Calgary Flames »		$51,717,500	$57,321,250
25.	New Jersey Devils »		$55,383,333	$59,720,834
26.	Colorado Avalanche »		$55,565,000	$58,833,333
27.	Buffalo Sabres »		$54,745,833	$54,645,357
28.	Ottawa Senators »		$50,877,500	$53,835,833
29.	Florida Panthers »		$50,176,209	$57,140,375
30.	New York Islanders »		$44,431,500	$49,496,976

Who do you think will outperform their payroll in 2013-14? Who is spending the most on a pile of crap? Tell us in the comments!

Related Reading:

Panther Parkway lists the NHL’s five best “Puck for Your Buck” Contracts

Sports Illustrated looks at the smartest deals of the summer

Elliotte Friedman said today that some within hockey circles believe the cap could rise to as high as $80 million by 2017-18

Fantasy Joe: A Handful of Fantasy Hockey Sleepers

If talented Islanders prospect Ryan Strome cracks the top line this season, he will undoubtedly put up huge numbers for your fantasy team.

As the dog days of summer move into the NFL preseason, the disease of fantasy football fever is upon us. While everyone else is rummaging the dark corners of the web to find that hidden sleeper no one else knows about for their football teams, you can just swing through Hockey Falls to to gear up for the final few rounds of your fantasy hockey draft, because you know by then your football squad will be in the shitter.

Here are my top sleepers to look out for during the 2013/2014 Fantasy Hockey Season.

Ryan Strome – New York Islanders

The departure of Brad Boyes leaves an empty right wing spot next to fantasy studs, John Tavares and Matt Moulson. Strome has huge potential as the No. 5 overall pick in the 2011 draft and has likely generated enough buzz in rookie mini-camp to earn a roster spot.  If he has an even more impressive training camp and preseason, he has a legitimate chance to fill that RW spot, which would cause his value to sky-rocket. Brad Boyes put up 35 points in 48 games alongside Tavares last season and P.A. Parenteau tallied 67 points in 80 games in 2011-12 before cashing in with Colorado. Just imagine what Strome, who had 94 points in just 53 games for the Niagara Ice Dogs last year, could do. Earning this spot on the depth chart will be a tough task though, as he will have to compete against the likes of Kyle Okposo, Pierre Marc Bouchard, and Cal Clutterbuck, who was JT’s linemate in juniors. This is a position battle to monitor, as whoever wins that RW spot will have a handful of scoring opportunities every night.

Jaden Schwartz – St. Louis Blues

The 14th overall pick in the 2010 draft is quickly developing into a solid two-way winger. With the departure of David Perron to Edmonton and Andy McDonald’s retirement, Schwartz could end up playing on a line with either T.J. Oshie & David Backes or Derrick Roy & Chris Stewart. If that’s the case Schwartz will see a major increase in responsibility, ice time and power play minutes.

Emerson Etem/Kyle Palmieri/ Jakob Silfverberg – Anaheim Ducks

Very similar to the Ryan Strome situation on the Island, there is an open wing spot that will almost guarantee a major upswing in production. Etem, Palmieri and Silfverberg are the prime candidates to replace Bobby Ryan on Anaheim’s top line alongside Ryan Getzlaf and former MVP Cory Perry. Etem and Palmieri just inked three-year extensions with the Ducks and Silfverberg was the marquee prospect the team recieved in return for Ryan. Both Etem and Palmieri had outstanding postseason series against the Red Wings, grabbing 5 points in 7 games each, but our gut feeling is that Etem will take over in that top line winger spot, being that he is the home-town kid.

Adam Henrique – New Jersey Devils

Adam Henrique came into last year’s lockout shortened season with “humongous big” expectations after he lit it up in the Devil’s playoff run the previous year. But he didn’t deliver, and his game hit a bit of a sophomore slump. Devils faithful and potential fantasy owners are hoping his dropoff in production wasn’t a result of the loss of Zach Parise because, if that’s the case, he will have even less star power around him as Ilya Kovalchuk is also off the team’s depth chart now. On the optimistic side, he will play big minutes and receive a lot of power play time. This is Henrique’s opportunity to become a star and one of the few bright spots on a lackluster New Jersey squad. Someone has to score, right?

Drew Shore/ Jonathan Huberdeau – Florida Panthers

The Florida Panthers’ roster is loaded with up-and-coming young talent, and if the Panthers have any chance at being relevant in the “new” Atlantic Division, Huberdeau and Shore will have to put the team on their backs. Huberdeau, I almost didn’t put him on the sleeper list as he had 31 points in 48 games as a rookie last season and is clearly Florida’s next (if there was even one before him) homegrown franchise player. Shore was a second round pick in the ’09 draft, and is quickly developing deadly chemistry with Huberdeau. He contributed 13 points in the shortened campaign, but look for a major increase in minutes and points next season. If you can afford to take a hit on +/- then draft one of these two.

Alex Goligoski – Dallas Stars

Since he was traded to the Dallas Stars in the middle of the ’10-’11 season, Goligoski’s point totals have improved every year. Although playing on a top-heavy Dallas team won’t help his +/- , his point totals will continue to increase, and he has a good shot at breaking out as the primary puck mover to Jamie Benn who’s moving back to his natural position on the wing, and Tyler Seguin, who will be playing with a chip on his shoulder as he was cast off embarrassingly from the Bruin’s organization.

Jacob Markstrom (Keeper/Dynasty League) – Florida Panthers

The Panthers made Jacob Markstrom their second-round selection in the 2008 draft, then he led the Swedish Elite league in save percentage and goals against average as a 20-year-old. For NHL fantasy purposes, however, Markstrom is more of a guy to look out for in keeper leagues or dynasty leagues. He’s incredibly talented and has a ton of potential. The problem is his team will not give him the support to put up solid numbers and often will leave him out to dry. The team in front of him might look even worse this season, now playing against the likes of Boston, Detroit and Montreal more regularly. Markstrom showed flashes of greatness last season, and will be the starter for the Panthers in ’13-’14 but a breakout campaign is not in the works just yet.  A few seasons down the road, Markstrom will be a top netminder in the NHL. For now, he would be a good pickup as a spot-starter when Florida’s matchups are favorable.

Jake Allen – St. Louis Blues

Picked just three spots after Markstrom by a far superior Blues team, Allen has the potential to be a top fantasy hockey goalie. But the goaltending situation in St. Louis is a bit murky.  Jaroslav Halak is one of the streakiest and most injury-prone goalies in the league, and Brian Elliot completely shit the bed last year when he had a legitimate chance to take over the starting gig. Allen won’t be handed the starting job and will probably have to wait for Halak to get hurt, and for management to completely lose their faith in Elliot. If Allen takes advantage of his opportunities and works his way into the mix, he will rack up a ton of wins, have a solid GAA, and have a chance for a shutout on any given night as the squad playing in front of him is one of the best defensive teams in the NHL.

Who are you eyeing in the late rounds of your fantasy hockey draft? Let us know in the comments.

Road Trippin’: Part 1 of Your Team-by-Team Guide to 2013-14’s Best NHL Adventures

Written by Trevor Kraus with contributions from Alex Silverman

One of our favourite days on the NHL calender is the day the NHL calendar itself is released. As we all know, the league had some difficulty announcing the schedule and delayed it 2 days, missing its window to steal the spotlight in the States without any other major sporting events. Nevertheless, the second it came out, I started planning the roadtrips I’d take this year to see the Blues (Devils-Rangers-Isles in January? Yes, please. Dallas over Winter Break? Piece of cake). I’m one-third of the way to my goal of seeing the Blues play in every NHL arena. Naturally, I started with the easy ones like Chicago, Nashville, and Columbus, and I’ve gradually been branching out farther to Buffalo, Toronto, Long Island, etc. So when I use the term “roadtrip,” I no longer mean the 5-6 hour variety. I’m talking about day-long drives, and whenever possible, I’m trying to work in multiple games. That was my mindset when I put together itineraries for fans of all 30 NHL teams (assuming you’re living in the city your team calls home). Here are the first ten, alphabetically speaking, from Anaheim to Detroit.

Quick Notes:

1. All stats and maps are courtesy of RoadTrippers.com

2. Click on the map for any roadtrip to be redirected to the RoadTrippers page, where you can find out how to get where you’re going, what’s on the way, what detours can be made, etc.

Anaheim Ducks

Depart Anaheim: September 30

Return to Anaheim: October 10

Distance: 4,341 miles

Gas: $745

Driving Time: 63 hours, 43 minutes

Games: 3 (plus a home game on the end)

This is an easy call. The best opportunity to see Bobby Ryan Francois Beauchemin and company is right off the bat. Leave Anaheim the morning of Monday, September 30th, pass through Vegas and win the funding for the rest of the trip, then proceed to Denver to see Opening Night, October 2nd against the Avs. Spend the 3rd in the Rockies…it’s only 12 hours from Denver to Minneapolis, so you’ll have plenty of time to explore. Get to Minny by Saturday the 5th to see your Ducks take on the Wild. After all that, the six hours to Winnipeg will feel like nothing, and you’ll get to see and hear one of the league’s loudest barns the night of the Sixth against the Jets. It’s a bit of a hike back to Orange County from the Peg (29 hours), but you have until the Tenth to do it, when the Ducks host the Rags. This is an epic trip through some of the country’s most beautiful land. Well worth the two weeks off work/school.

Boston Bruins

Depart Boston: April 1

Return to Boston: April 5

Distance: 4,341 miles

Gas: $253

Driving Time: 22 hours, 51 minutes

Games: 2

The east coast teams have it easy: most of them can take short train rides to their divisional games. But we’re assuming you Bruins fans have already been to New York, Philly, Washington, etc. So let’s see…how about an Original Six swing in April? Leave Boston on April Fool’s Day and get to Detroit for Bruins-Wings on Wednesday the 2nd. Stay in the D that night and help stimulate the local economy with some much-needed tourist money in Greektown, then get up on the Third and get to Toronto by that night for a rematch of that epic seven-game series. Toronto to Boston is an easy eight hours, and you’re back by the weekend. Quick and easy.

Buffalo Sabres

Depart Buffalo: March 6

Return to Buffalo: March 9

Distance: 2,842 miles

Gas: $488

Driving Time: 42 hours, 16 minutes

Games: 2

The schedule doesn’t provide a ton of good choices for the Sabes, and the ones it does offer (like a Columbus-Pittsburgh trip) have most likely already been tackled by the passionate fans of the Swords. So what the hell, let’s dream big. Take off work/school early on Wednesday, March 6th, tell them you’re taking a long weekend, and head south for about 28 hours to Miami for Sabres-Lightning on the Sixth. Tampa to Miami is nothing, so get there for Sabres-Panthers on Friday the Seventh and party like a rockstar on South Beach that night and all day Saturday before heading back to Buffalo early Sunday morning, arriving in time for work/school on Monday morning.

Calgary Flames

Depart Calgary: January 18

Return to Calgary: January 22

Distance: 2,892 miles

Gas: $496

Driving Time: 47 hours, 28 minutes

Games: 2

My goodness, do Flames fans have it tough. Not only is their team (finally) rebuilding, but they’re light years away from most other NHL cities. Luckily, the Canadian Rockies in January don’t pose a problem, so you should do the ten-hour drive early Saturday morning, January 18th, and see Flames-Canucks in Vancouver that night. Enjoy the beautiful Pacific Coast Highway on Sunday and get to Northern California by Monday in time to enjoy either some wine or silicon, then see Flames-Sharks before roughing it 20 hours back to Alberta on Tuesday.

Carolina Hurricanes

Depart Raleigh: March 18

Return to Raleigh: March 23

Distance: 1,638 miles

Gas: $281

Driving Time: 25 hours, 23 minutes

Games: 2

For our money, Cam Ward is the most underrated goalie in the league, so it’s essential that Canes fans to see him play as much as possible. This one’s really easy: leave Raleigh on Tuesday morning, March 18th and catch Canes-Blue Jackets that night. That drive’s only seven hours, and from Columbus to Chi Town is only 5, so you can get there by Wednesday afternoon. The Canes don’t play the Hawks until Friday the 21st, but trust me, you’ll find more than enough to do in Chicago to pass the time. See a comedy show at 2nd City, take a tour of Wrigley Field, explore the Art Institute of Chicago, and feast on some Chicago style hot dogs and Lou Malnati’s deep dish pizza. Chicago back to Raleigh is only 12 hours, so you could leave on Saturday and get back in time to see second-round NCAA Tournament action in your fair city on Sunday the 23rd.

Chicago Blackhawks

Depart Chicago: March 18

Return to Chicago: March 23

Distance: 1,788 miles

Gas: $307

Driving Time: 26 hours, 39 minutes

Games: 2

If we were Blackhawks fans *shudder* we’d be licking our chops at this set up: a breezy 11 hours starting early Friday morning, March 28th into Ottawa to see this matchup of the only two teams whose logos feature a human being. Spend a day in the Canadian capital and then leave early Sunday the 30th to get to Pittsburgh eight hours later for what will probably be a high-scoring affair. Head west after the game and drive six hours through the night (remember, you’ll gain an hour going from ET to CST), knock back a couple of Monsters and be ready for school/work on Monday morning.

Colorado Avalanche

Depart Denver: November 21

Return to Denver: November 24

Distance: 2,234 miles

Gas: $383

Driving Time: 32 hours, 35 minutes

Games: 2

By the time Thanksgiving rolls around, the Avs might very well already be out of playoff contention. But they’ll still be an exciting team to watch, and Phoenix weather is PERFECT in late November. Start the one-week countdown to Turkey Day by waking up early Thursday the 21st and rock down I-25 toward the Valley of the Sun (12 hours), arriving in time to see Avs-Coyotes. Be sure to assess if that whole four-year ordeal we endured was worth it to save hockey in Glendale. It’s a scant 5 hours from Phoenix to LA, so knock that out on Friday morning and take a tour of Tinsel Town, hopefully running into some C-lister who’s nice enough to take a picture with you. Or Taylor Stevens. It’s Avs-Kings on Saturday the 23rd, before a 14-hour ride back to Denver on Sunday.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Depart Columbus: March 8

Return to Columbus: March 11

Distance: 2,067 miles

Gas: $355

Driving Time: 30 hours, 23 minutes

Games: 2

Remember way back when the BJ’s were in the Western Conference? Take a trip down memory lane and see the Jackets square off against two old Western Conference foes, Nashville and Dallas. Leave Columbus on Saturday, March 8 (only a five-hour drive) and see CBJ-NSH. Spend Sunday listening to country music, then leave early Monday morning on a nine-hour journey for Dallas and see the game that night. It’s only 15 back to Columbus on Tuesday, and you’ve only missed two days of work/school.

Dallas Stars

Depart Dallas: January 5

Return to Dallas: January 12

Distance: 3,132 miles

Gas: $537

Driving Time: 46 hours, 32 minutes

Games: 3 (plus a home game at the end)

The Stars get the beautiful NYI-NJD-NYR triplet shortly after New Year’s. It’s 22 big ones from Dallas to NYC, but believe me: there’s nothing like being in the middle of it all, in New York City. It truly is the greatest city in the world, and if you’ve never been there, this is as good a chance as you’ll get. Tell your boss/teacher that your hangover was especially bad this year, and that you’ll need more than a week to recover. Leave North Texas on Sunday, January 5th and be on Long Island the night of the Sixth for Stars-Isles in the best arena in the league. We were there for the Isles’ first playoff game since 2007 this past year…raucous doesn’t even begin to describe it. The ghosts of Bossy, Trottier and Potvin are prevalent. Do absolutely everything you possibly can in NYC Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday before hopping onto a New Jersey Transit train Thursday evening to Newark for a rematch of the 2000 Stanley Cup Final. Revel in the Jason Arnott and Jamie Langebrunner glory. Get back to the City on Friday and catch Stars-Rangers at the World’s Most Famous Arena. If you have any gas money left, use it to head back to Dallas on Saturday. If you fell in love with the Isles’ young stars, you can catch them again in Dallas on Sunday the 12th.

Detroit Red Wings

Depart Detroit: April 4

Return to Detroit: April 10

Distance: 1,449 miles

Gas: $249

Driving Time: 22 hours, 18 minutes

Games: 3 (plus a home game to start off)

Mo Town finally got its wish to be moved into the Eastern Conference and, for roadtrip purposes, it’ll pay dividends early and often. This year’s trip is a three-game, two-country luxury cruise during the stretch run of the regular season. If the Wings have clinched already, you should probably be saving up for the Playoffs by this point, but if it’s a fight to the finish, this could be one of the best trips on the list. Catch the game against the Sabres at the Joe on April 4th, but make sure you have the car packed up beforehand. Once the buzzer sounds, hop in the car and drive eight-and-a-half hours over the border to Montreal, where you should arrive in the early morning. Get some rest and catch the Wings against the Habs at the Bell Center before a night out on the town. We hear visiting players like taking time to appreciate the, er, culture. Spend Sunday in Montreal before, at your leisure, making the six-hour drive back over the border to Buffalo. Make sure you come to this town with an empty stomach because Nacho Buffitos at Mighty Taco (trust us…), wings at Duffs and a hot dog at  Ted’s are all mandatory activities. Head to the HSBC arena Tuesday night for Sabres/Wings. Leave early Wednesday for a night game against the Pens in Pittsburgh and if you leave right after the game, you can get a full night’s sleep back in Michigan before work Thursday morning.

Check back soon for Part 2 of our Road Trippin’ Guide, featuring…

Edmonton, Florida, Los Angeles, Minnesota, Montreal, Nashville, New Jersey, the Islanders, the Rangers and Ottawa.

Who would you rather party with: Patrick Kane or Tyler Seguin?

Patrick Kane and Tyler Seguin are hockey’s undisputed top-two party animals. But which one would you rather party with?

Since the Boston Bruins’ decision to trade 21-year-old forward Tyler Seguin to the Dallas Stars due to concerns about his “professionalism” (and probably his lack of production in the Bruins’ recent Stanley Cup Finals loss), the Boston media has made sure to air Seguin’s dirty laundry. Without getting into which reports are true and which aren’t, the gist of it is that the 2nd-overall pick in 2010 likes to party, which the hockey world has known since he raged with his teammates after winning the cup as a 19-year-old rookie. Seguin made matters worse by allowing “a hacker,” more than likely one of his buddies, to tweet out a borderline-homophobic line from Full Metal Jacket mocking his new home state of Texas, where he will be playing for the Dallas Stars.

So while Seguin finds himself in hot water, fellow hockey party boy Patrick Kane must be on top of the world. Kane led his Blackhawks to a second Stanley Cup in four years and the NHL rewarded him with the Conn Smythe trophy, which goes annually to the MVP of the Playoffs.

How did Kane — three years Seguin’s elder — celebrate his triumph? By raging face, naturally.

Now, remember, Kane has caught his fair share of flack, especially prior to the Blackhawks’ 2010 Stanley Cup victory. But goals and wins are what count in the hockey business and that’s what Kane has consistently brought the Hawks.

But we’re not here to discuss whether there is a Seguin-Kane double standard or if it’s fair. The question we want answered here in Hockey Falls is “Who would you rather party with: Kane or Seguin?” Here are a few things to consider before voting in our Hockey Falls poll…

Style

This is truly a bro-tastic matchup for the ages, as the two bring very different party styles to the table.

“Frat. Frat. Frat.”

Patrick Kane would’ve loved college

On one hand, let’s revisit Kane’s infamous Cinco de Mayo bender in Madison, Wis. First, notice Patty’s truly frat-tastic homemade shirt (above) featuring a festive Spanish phrase that translates roughly to “Two Fives equals a Ten.” Yes, that’s Bro for “scoring with two ugly chicks is just as good as one hottie.” We’ll get to the caliber of Kaner’s female companions later, so consider this foreshadowing.

Over the course of the weekend, Deadspin readers claim to have witnessed Kane drunkenly passing out at a local bar, declaring girls “not good enough” to their faces, getting kicked out of a fraternity house for choking an uninterested female target, drinking beer “like a girl”, making anti-Semitic remarks and hooking up with a “Ten” to cap it all off.

So basically, Patty Kane doesn’t give a F*&%. He’ll show up unwelcome to your frat party after sleeping with your president’s girlfriend (again, per Deadspin), assault whoever the hell he wants to and then just head over to Kappa with another group of smoking hot college girls; Guy should’ve gone to college.

Tyler Seguin: The Shirtless Wonder

Peaking at 19?

When the Bruins won the Stanley Cup in 2011, Seguin became the youngest NHL player since 1955 to have his name engraved on the Stanley Cup. Imagine being 19 years old and reaching the summit of hockey greatness. I think it’s fair to say just about anyone would’ve guzzled and gamed their ass off, and that’s exactly what Seguin did.

Cameras captured Seguin contributing to the Bruins’ $156,000+ bar tab of infographic fame by opening wide as Grey Goose was poured down his throat and popping the cork off some champagne. Seguin and equally-shitfaced teammate Brad Marchand found time to dance shirtless together between posing for pictures, and who knows what else, with girl after girl.

Fast forward to this past weekend when the young Canadian threw a Cape Cod soiree for the 4th of July which, coincidentally, happened to be the day the Bruins traded him to the Stars. Once again, social media delivered a blow to Seguin’s reputation, but not before Seguin hosted what looks like an epic bash. The best documentation of the night came in the form of a video that shows Seguin in a frat tank and backwards trucker hat grinding on a female party guest.

In other words, Tyler Seguin is a pimp.

Bottom Line: Roll with Kaner and you might wind up in a bar fight. Schmooze with Seguin, and you’re bound to get lucky.

Trouble with the Law

Nothing kills a partier’s buzz quite like a run-in with the refs, I mean, cops. Of the two puck daddies in question, only Kane can attest to that. In 2009, after a night out in his hometown of Buffalo with his cousin James Kane, Kane was arrested and charged with second-degree robbery, fourth-degree criminal mischief and theft of services after assaulting and robbing a cab driver over a measly 20 cents. Kane ultimately got off with a slap on the wrist by pleading guilty to noncriminal disorderly conduct charges, but still, it was both a major headache an a low-point for the fallen party boy and his cousin/wing man.

As far as we know, Seguin has never seen a night of partying cut short by flashing lights in the rear view, despite the aforementioned, blatant underage drinking after winning the Cup in 2011. So, by default…

Edge: Seguin

Puck Bunnies

Here at Hockey Falls we generally frown upon the objectification of women based on looks. But when it’s for the purpose of objectifying two of the “brohans” likely doing some objectifying of their own, we’ll let it slide.

Seguin:

Kane:

 

So who would you rather party with? Vote in our poll and justify in the comments!